I’m declaring it a year of love.
There are so many things that this already means to me, and I am sure it will continue to develop as I do.
Above all, I want to love the journey. In reflecting on last year, I drew a map of significant moments, lessons, places, people, questions, and learning. It was a zigzagging chart with great highs and deep lows. In 2014, I discovered much about who I am and realized many things that I need. The former left me feeling empowered, rooting into gifts and callings and standing in Deep Self. The latter, though, is where I stumbled the most. When faced with need, I feel weak and fear regression. Rather than remembering the process I am in, honoring my humanness in the inter-dependency that that requires, I plunge into thinking or periods of self-deprecation. So, an intention to love the journey means not only enjoying the moments of clarity and sensed empowerment, but the difficult parts too. Perhaps, one day, being empowered in my need and ability to receive with open palms.
The decision to set love as my intention is largely rooted in my need to be more kind to myself and to pursue my own desires rather than some internalized picture of what I should yearn for. It is also about a sensed need to be gentler with everyone in their process, right where they are.
With love as my aim, I want to better listen, be present, and find and be in community.
To do this, one love I am setting an intention to be more mindful of is body. I mean this for others’ bodies, and my own. From regular movement to being more gentle with my face, I want to love my body by taking care of it. In terms of others, with thin-privilege unchecked and a sensitivity to the perils of disordered eating, body dysmorphic disorder, and eating disorders, I’m afraid I did more body-talk policing than loving last year. This will change in 2015, though my first step is to learn more about how to navigate the difficult web of the intersectional oppressions of sizeism and fatphobia, sexism and body-shaming, and ableism and an epidemic of eating disorders. As I learn and likely make mistakes, I’ll need to return to my love of process.
Alongside all of this, I want to remember and attend to the things that I love: writing, yoga, and friends. These are the things that best support me in doing the rest as I seek to make my intention a lived one.
Well, my loves. These are my intentions for the year. Love is my word. What is yours?